Now that I have an idea of what awaits me tomorrow, I feel a little bit more nervous. I woke up at 3h00 last night and my thoughts started wandering and filling with "what if's". What if I can't do it? What if it hurst too much? What if I can't get an epidural? What if there are complications? But after an hour, I was able to come back to the present time and calm myself. Am I hurting now? No. OK. Well, don't dwell on what has not happened yet...
Last week, I read a quote from Eckhart Tolle that says : Negativity is not intelligent. Such a simple sentence but a powerful one. Negativity will not help me tomorrow. I have to think differently.
Falling back to sleep I made a mental list of all the things that could (will?) help me tomorrow :
1) Know that the pain is normal and that my body is opening like a flower.
2) Focus on the result : Mateo will be there soon. He is worth the pain.
3) Believe that I will be able to manage the pain.
4) Take in M's strenght.
5) Walk.
6) Hold my special necklace.
7) Think of all the women in the world that are giving birth the same day - especially thinking about Kuna women who give birth in very rudimentary conditions.
8) Do breathing exercise #1 : Inhale : imagine the colour pink, exhale : imagine the colour black.
9) Do breathing exercise #2 : Breathe in and exhale very slowly as if blowing through a straw.
10) Do Breathing exercise #3 : Inhale in four seconds, hold breath for seven and exhale for eight. Repeat four times.
11) Use yoga ball.
12) Focus on the parts of my body that are not hurting.
13) As silly as it may seem, think of Madonna who gave birth too.
14) Think of Frida Kahlo who suffered so much in her life.
15) ...
16) ...
(will fill in a few days with what worked...)
1 comment:
que c'est magnifique cette aventure!!! Je t'envoie plein d'énergie et de bonnes pensées pour les moments à venir - que je te trouve courageuse,
pleins de belles choses vers toi!! xx
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