Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
In Spanish, there is a beautiful expression for giving birth. They say: dar luz. To give light. This is what I did a few months ago. I gave birth to you, my light.
I have procrastinated so many times on writing this post. I want to tell you what happened that day but when I start writing the details, everything seems so trivial. I wrote a draft of this post describing and explaining everything that went on that day but when I came to type it here I just thought it was useless - not interesting. The only thing I remember clearly and that I feel is important is when you came out. Your voice was so beautiful. You did not even cry, nor scream. It's as if you just said hello. The first thing I said to your daddy was : "Ohhhhh...il a tellement une belle voix!" I know it is a funny thing to say but your voice was amazing, so soft, so gentle. We cried when we saw how beautiful you were. You looked so awake, so old already! And you had so much hair!
You were great Mat from the beginning. You were born at 11h20 and I did not get to spend the night with you. I was still under shock from all the drugs and I got to see you only the next morning. The nurse told us that you had spent a wonderful night. I thought you were such a champion, so strong. I think I instinctively knew that you would be amazing!
We love you so.
I started writing a list of all the things that I hope you like but then, while writing it and having fun writing it, I realized that I was writing all the things I like and that your daddy likes. Dancing, reading, coloring, cooking, fishing....And then I thought that it was not fair to impose our likes on you. You are your own person and you can choose your own passions.
I wish that you write your own list...
The countdown has now started Mattie boy. In less than 2 months, Daddy and I are getting married! Yep!! We are so excited! So excited that you will be with us during this special time. So excited that you will be on the wedding pictures! So excited to be with our friends and family. (Get ready Mat, you will be kissed so much!) So excited to be in the sun. So excited to be on holiday. So excited to travel with you!
Mommy still does not know what you will wear. Mommy wanted you to wear while pants, no top and a shiny bow tie but apparently this is a crazy idea! You are not a Chippendale after all!
Any original ideas anyone?
When I was pregnant and imagining my life with a baby, one of the things I was looking forward to was making purees - simple baby food. Isabelle gave me a great book for extra ideas (they look yummy for mummies too these recipes !) and I also got a fun book from Verica for older children.
Today I prepared my first carrot mélange - no fancy recipe - just carrot and water - that I pureed and poured into cubes that went to the freezer!
M tried it to give him some tonight and he did not seem that interested. Hum? We'll try again tomorrow!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I have always been fascinated with perfumes and their bottles. I counted how many perfumes I have worn in my life and I was close to 30 different ones. I started wearing perfume when I was in grade six - I bought Ivresse from Lise Watier that my aunt Thérèse wore. It was subtle...I felt like a grown up even though I was about 11!
Annona has often told me that I was the only person she knew that was so interested in perfumes...
Perfume is wonderful Mat. There are certain smells that you will never forget. You will associate delicate smells with the girls you will love....and I hope that you will remember my smell too.
I still associate Eau de Rochas to my mom even though it probably does not exist anymore. She wore it when I was young. I could name you all the perfumes she wore. I still smell her neck all the time to see what she is wearing.
I can name all the perfumes that my friends have been wearing since I have known them...and I can enumerate the perfumes Lily, Nana and Joanne wear.
And scents can bring you back to so much more. They can be related to passions. When I smell ceramic tiles, I always think of airports down south and it makes me happy. Fresh cut grass makes me think of summer fun. The smell of tea makes me think of Annona's mom who showed me how to prepare a great tea pot. Clarins sun lotion reminds me of Luc and all the fun we had together. Parsley makes me think of Oma. And the list could go on forever...
When flights are delayed I am never that upset -it means I get to spend more time at the duty free perfume section. The new Pharmaprix and Jean Coutu are now even better than before - I try perfumes all the time at the entrance. M always says : We are not stopping in the perfume section Tan. Go straight through!
And so I go back the next day with you ! :)
Perfumes allow you to say : I am here. It gives you presences. It redefines you when you need it. It allow you to start new chapters in your life.
You already have your first perfume too Mattie - it is a baby perfume that I received from Sharnee, Philippa and Cara. Some days, I wear it so I can smell like you...
This what I wore when I found out you were in my belly- the title is significant now that I think about it! It smells woody and sexy... The bottle reminds me of Olive in Popeye.
Then, when I was pregnant most perfumes made me feel nauseated - so I went back to a favourite - a simple girlie light smell - it puts Johanne and me instantly in a good mood! I love the bottle so much!
Then I gave birth and was able to go back to another favourite that my brother bought me - it also smells divine and classic. This is the first real whiff you had of me Mat.
And now, I needed a change - something new - something different. I found this new smell that I love so much. It is sweet but not too strong. I should be going through a few bottles of these. Hope you like it Mat.
a few days ago I bought the October Oprah magazine which is all about LOVE. It features articles where people share their feelings about different kinds of love and one of them really describes the way I feel about Mat :
"When I saw my baby....I felt a huge billowing of love that sat like a gigantic, soft helium balloon on my shoulders. I didn't know a person could feel that love, it was so large. I watched my little one wake up from her nap (Mat does not take naps though...hum!) and kick her little feet and - whoosh!- that feeling of love grew exponentially. How could this love be this big? That enormous, soft helium balloon got bigger and higher until my love filled the skies. Boundless, as they say."
I love the part that says that the love filled the skies. It's really how I feel. I feel that my love for Mateo is in the air. It is everywhere I go. I have always been have a very happy person but now, I feel even more content. If a surgeon opened my body, he would see the words Mateo and M written on my heart.
After the boob, Mateo is always very calm and super happy but today he was still grumpy after which is really strange for him. Was he still hungry? I don't really know but I thought I could give him his first teaspoon of cereal. He grimaced at first, seemed surprised, did not swallow right away, then smiled and then finally swallowed. Good job!
I want to get things done and I am still in my pyjamas at 4Pm. He wants to be held today. He wants mama's attention. That's okay - I am not complaining! I would like him to sleep but this is the look he is giving me...Too cute...
So I hold him, kiss him, play with him, pinch him, photograph him, read him stories and repeat everything again.
I have just put him in his saucer now - he seems to be fine...let's hope it lasts more than 5 minutes...
Monday, October 6, 2008
Mateo, this weekend you slept around and I think you liked it!
On Friday, we went to visit Elias and Luc and at around 10, we put you to bed and you fell asleep right away. It was so cute to see you on their bed with your special blanket. We woke you up at around 10 and you slept through the car ride home and ...until the next morning at 8h30.
And then, on Saturday night, you laid in Jacques and Cesar's bed and you liked that too. You even turned on your stomach like you do at home.
You're easy Mateo!
last week, you woke up in the middle of the night and your feet, your ears and your face were cold. I warmed up in my arms and before putting you back in bed, I put your socks back on (because you wiggle your feet so much and that is why they come off...) but a few hours later in the early morning, you were cold again...
Daddy did not like this situation and went to buy a small heater for your room the next morning. We tried it, but mommy thought the room was too hot now...a dry room is not good for babies, right? - so we decided to buy new winter pyjamas. I think Daddy likes to buy baby clothes more than me. So off we went to the store (mommy always says yes when shopping is involved). We bought 4 new thick ones with long legs.
It worked - you are warm now.
Buenas noches mi querido.